“So do you know of any place i could find a place to sleep,just for tonight?”…Ndakabvunza receptionist wepalodge nezwi rakadzikamira zvangu semunhu ainge aneta…
October 2006 ,uri musi weChiShanu ndichibva paZed (paZambia) zvangu,,late in the evening ndichisvika zvangu muVictoria Falls .Semazuva ose ndakananga pakalodge kandaiwanzo rara so that ndaizofumobata jongwe muromo ndakananga kuBulawayo kwandaigara;wanikwe kari fully booked.I went around the place to no avail,,ndoo pa ndakazoona kuti masamba ainge atosiyana,ndikaita zvekupusa ndinogona kurara mumukotapeya..Ndakaedza kubata muface wangu aigara muChinotimba zvikanzi aitove kuBulawayo.
Plan,plan haaaa no plan.Very fast ndakabva ndagaya zvekuno hiker a lift to Bulawayo.
Semuchinda hauzopererwa zve kusvika pakurara mumuti.
Ndichangobva pa Lucky7 ndoo pakabva patanga ma1 ese apo ndakazosangana nemamwe mapolice officer two echikadzi aito patroller zvawo.Sezvo it was around 8 vakandisheedza vachigaya kuti ndaitovawo mu tourist arasika!! Ndakabva ndavaudza nyaya yangu.Pasina nguva zvangu zvakabva zvaita.We went together to their house kwavaigara vari girls chete.Zvaitova zvekutorasisa madinga kuti vasaone firimu rese.
Ndapedza kugeza one of the “girl- officer” akabva adzokera kuno patroller.Ndakasara nekamwe kacho kaitaura Shona sezvo Ndebele yaindivhara those days.Semunhu mukuru ane 26years ndakabva ndabata gap racho.Pane zvimwe zvinhu zvisingade 5 O levels kuti unzwisise algebra dzainge dzarongwa apa.Takagara tichikurukura zvedu nyaya dzakadhakwa.Sezvo officer vaiva muuniform yavo,it wasnt that appetising zvekuti ndaigaya zvekurara zvangu but officer vakaramba vachingowanza nyaya.Around 10 ndoo pavakazoti ndivaperekedze kwainge kune her work-mate.To my surprize takabuda and we took the direction like we were going necheku railway station yekuVic Falls.(for the benefit of those who know Vic Falls
)Tichangopinda mune kamwe kasango (the same place pakazovakirwa TM..that time yaisavepo,kaingova kasango)Officer vakabva vamira ndokundibata ruoko ndokunditambidza ma condom!! Aaaahh hana yangu yakarohwa nehana coz i didnt expect it.Handina kutaridza sekunge ndarohwa nehana.Ndinotovawo proffessor when it comes to “bitching around” so i made up my mind very fast kuti ndinyatsova kwapaidza zvemhando yepamusoro semunhu akange ava nemaweeks asati aluma beche..Beche rakangofanana nebrongo or mbanje,harirambwe.
Ndakabva ndaziva kuti kuma quarters kwavaigara segirls,,officer ava varikushaya anovaponda beche!!Ndikati hekani waro ,dzawira mutswanda.
Ndakavatarisa ndikaona kuti havaindiregedza ndichienda just like that..I held the bull by the horns,so tight in my arms apo ndichikisser girl-officer.Malips avo yaiva hot property chaiyo nekupisa..She was just a junior officer but pakiss chete, officer ava vaigona kupiwa nyembe dzaCommissioner Chihuri chaiye.
Aaaah ,,,ndainge ndaneta zvangu ,travelling all the way from Lusaka but mukoma John Sinhi (blambi)vakange vatsamwa zvino semhungumuridzo.Mboro kana yashatirwa haukwanise kuidzora unless ukatoi hanesser ne vise!! Ndakanzwa simba richidzoka, richifashukira semafashamu eMosi-oa-tunya.Ndakabva ndabvisa kacap kaofficer nekashirt kaya kechipurisa ndokuzvikanda pasi,.Pakunoti ndibvise trousers haaaaa ndakapinda biz coz belt raofficer haribviswe zvekumhanya.Muzivi wenzira yeparuware ndiye akamboifamba,,ndakazosiya officer kuti vangobvisa vega.Pasina nguva ndakange ndatarisana neIsrael yese,Jerusarema ndaiita yekuona ndiri pamusoro pegomo.Girl-officer vaiva nerimwe dinji raivhundutsa,zvekuti even kiti yaigona kutiza yaona rakarembera!!! Ndakambofunga kuti zvimwe aiva muNambiya but kaitova kabhebhi kepaGweru apa.Varume ka ,paiva nekarima zvishoma but mwana wepaMkoba aiva negaro zvake iyeyo ,kind yangu chaiyo. Ndakabvunda ndakaritarisa,so smooth like iya LG curved smart t.v.
Yasvika nguva iya yandofarira!!!
Mwana ndakamu rever ndiri mu reverse gear(doggy-style) apo ndakaita zvekukabatirira nemuchiuno umu!! Kamwana kaiziva chikapa zvako ikako .Chiuno chaitenderedzwa nekusimudzirwa mudenga(uuuummm out of this universe) zvekuti dai ndakaita zvelekwaz ndaigona kubhenda chass.Panoti “Vanoti dako”apa,,ndaikadherera kaofficer aka coz ndairionera muhovhorosi yechipurisa .Kaiva kakaita dako rekuramwirwa or maybe this time round remagaro raiva kwavo chete..Ndaiita nyini yekuzhaka zvine simba vakafongora kudaro,Ndaiti ndikatambira mu 18 yard box ndombodzosera bhora kutouch-line trying
to build back..Officer vaingoshinyira chete.Ndakazodzoka zvinemutsindo,,non-stop ndichikoira zvine simba.Ndakazonzwa “Aaah aah aah Aaah aaah!!!!! ” ndikati hena roo zvaakuita.Ndaiti ndikarova ne side ndoita kakudzosera shure ,ndoinyudza kusvika kupenalty spot..With continuos thrusts ndaiitawo zvekutenderedza chiuno ndoita sekunge ndirikuda kuiburitsa…Aaaahhh ipapo kaa,,pakatoipa,,ndoopanotora muriwo wese. Officer vakatetsura kamhere kainzwikira kure kure.,vakandibata magaro zvinesimba with both hands.Ndakanzwa muviri wavo wese uchigwinha-gwinha,,like a phone iri pavibration.At the same time ndakabva ndaoma gotsi nekunakirwa coz all the boys (huronyo) were rushing like a flooded Mukuvisi river..apo mboro ichiita zvekusvinwa nematinji.The very moment of truth paunozobvuma kuti beche ndimambara!!! Officer vakabva vagwadama pasi vakavhara beche ne one hand.
Something came straight to my mind kuti cd rakange ratsemuka.Takazobvapo todzokera kuden around 11pm.Akazofonera shamwari yake kuti azongovharawo ma1 kugraft ,ndikati zvangu zvaita.Takazorova zi All-night-sex risina kumira mushe.Ndakatozorara around 3am.By 8am ndakange ndatorimukira kare beche iri raibviro zipa sehuchi hwegonera.
Ko ndaigomhanyirei kuBulawayo kwacho sezvinonzi kwaiva nemukadzi.?? Ndakazofamba toti-toti zvangu ndichimuka ndichidzvova nyini every morning.Ndakatozoenda after 2 days ndichingodya nyini chete tichingopanana iyo “sicki” yandakazo discover 4 days later ndatova kuBulawayo.
Musatya zvenyu coz ndakazonotestwa H.I.V,,haaaa mufaro wakazovepo pandakabuda “D”…Nanhasi am still negative..But nyini yaOfficer vepaVic Falls haina kumira fine.
(Based on a true story)
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