“Handei ku Hatcliffe!!”, akadaidzira hwindi. Apa this was kuma 11pm. Ini i was coming from watching a movie nebhebhi rangu yakanga yatanga na 8:30pm ku Kine 1. We had gone there on a double date with a friend yainzi Mangwiro and his girl. “Itai five – five sezvigunwe zvemubhutsu! Pindai pindai! Don’t worry, hamusi kubaiwa vanhu ma jekseni. Handei”! I got in ndokunogara ku back seat ne bhebhi rangu. We were there pa Market Square for about 30minutes until kombi yazara, tikagarisana five five. Yakabva yasimudzwa kombi na hwindi ainzi Hi-Rider takananga ku Hatcliffe. We all paid our fares and chimufana Hi-Rider chakaifambisa Toyota Hiace. Vanhu vaitaura tunyaya twaka siyana and ini i was busy dozing mu back seat. My girlfriend aingotaura ma sweet nothings but ndakanga ndaneta.
Takasvika pa Borrowdale Post Office, zvikanzi na Mangwiro, “yall niggaz can drop me off here, thi-za-nks (thanks)”. Hi- Rider akashaya kuti zvanga zvanzi chii na Mangwiro akabva ango replyer achiti, “yes fine thank you”. Taka turner paka bus top kari opposite the post office, kombi ndokunoti tswiii paye. Mangwiro ne bhebhi rake vakabva vabuda. There were four guys paka bus stop kaye. Mangwiro paakangobuda, those guys vakabva vabuditsa pfuti and one of them headed straight to the driver and said, “Get out! Get out! imbwa yemunhu”! Hi Rider uye akabva anzi ngaagare kumashure where we were. Mbavha dziya dzakabva dza squeezer in the kombi and them one wavo akabva agara mu driving seat ndiye TEKERE TEKERE ZOOM ZUM ZOOM..achimutsa kombi iya ndokutanga ku driver. Akabva a turner into Edinburgh Rd ndokuivhetemdza kombi iya, turned right uyo down Alpes Road past pamba pe friend yangu yainzi Sugar Dick Dupree..uyo ndiye u-turn,back again up Alpes Rd, ndiye dangerous right into Chatsworth Avenue ndiye tasva! muna Pendenis Rd ku Mt Pleasant past pamba pe friend yangu yainzi Chinyuku..
Aaah, Kombi yakarohwa zviri deadly, he took many turns tikadzamara tave kumwe kwandisingazive .. Akabva ati mukamwe kamukoto pfee ndoku parker kombi iya. Pakadaro you do not need an explanation.You just know instantly kuti these guys are not good samaritans but are infact robbers. Mbavha dziye dzakabva dzaburuka zvikanzi, “Right! Everyone, GET OUT, OUT! Budai”! They had three empty sacks with them zvikanzi nerimwe zimbavha, “kandai ma watch, ma cellphone, rings, ear rings, and twese tunhu tudiki munomu”. The other one then said, “bvisai hembe dzese mukande muno” and the other one then said, “kandai bhutsu nema socks muno”. At first ini ne bhebhi rangu thought kuti mbavha idzi dzai joker asi our smiles were wiped off our faces when we saw kuti vaive serious.
They started off nevanga vari ku front and for sure, ndakatoona vanhu vachisara vari nude..kana pant zvaro raisara. Vamwe baba vaitaura stereki when we were by the taxi rank earlier vakabva vabvisa zi underwear ravo rakanhuwisa kombi yese kuti kutu! Yakasvika turn yangu nebhebhi rangu and then i saw kuti hapana yekuita, ndokutanga kubvisa hembe. Once you took off your clothes,mbavha dziya dzaibva dzati order kuti tirare pasi nedumbu. Takasara tisina kupfeka ndobva tararawo pasi. There were two ma ZRP police officers amongst us and for some reason, everyone thought kuti these two might come up with a heroic rescue plan asi takatoshamisika tichiona vachibvisa uniform dzavo vachitorarawo pasi. As soon as ma ZRP aye arara pasi, imwe mbavha yakabva yavatarisa and said, “Right! Imimi two simukai mutange kurova bonyora tione”. Vakatanga vachiita zvekutamba and then one mbavha ndokuburitsa razor and slashed misana yema ZRP aye! Varume vakatanga ku chaya bonyora zvikanzi, “right, chi chayanai bonyora manje”. In such circumstances, hauseke. Ukaseka pakadai, unenge usati wapinda pa ma one.
Then mbavha dziye dzabva dzati “munhu wese tanga kusvirana ne munhu aripa side newe. Kana mese murivarume, sviranai ku mhata. Kana murivakadzi, isanai nezvigunwe muchi kisser-na”. Baba vaye vezi underwear rakanhuwidza kombi yese vakabva va complainer ndokubva chigunwe chavo chabva chanzi BWEESH! ne hammer yerimwe zimbavha.. Baba ivavo vakarira kunge hwai. Vakaona kuti vangafire mahara ndokutarisa mu face who was next to him, ndiye pfee kamboro kavo mumanyowa memu face uya. Takaonerera chemusi uyu! Inini manje ndaifara because i had my woman plus it’s as if varume ava vakanzwa minamato yangu because i badly wanted kusvira chi bhebhi changu. Ndanga ndanzwa neku nyengerera iye akasungira makumbo. Manje akanga airasa. Akada kumboti “i don’t do that pwetere pwetere”, akafinyama kumeso ndobva aonekwa akabva anzi mbama PWAA! across the face nerimwe zimbavha. “Svirwa apa! Otherwise ndinokusvira ini”, rakadaro zimbavha. Akabva avhura beche without hesitation ini ndokuiti pfee and ndokutanga kukoira. I really did take advantage of the situation. Ndakatanga kusvira like there was no tomorrow.
Mboro haina situation. Zviye zvekuti mboro needs messages to be sent from the brain kuti imire pwetere pwetere kunyeperana kuya. Vana vedu vanzwa nekunyeperwa muma classrooms umu, especailly vepa Vainona High. Yakabva yanyatsomira. Asika, sedhodhi, kana wakatariswa nevanhu haribude! Same fanana ne huronyo, haubude kana wakatariswa. I fucked her so hard but kana kutunda. I could tell kuti she was enjoying it so much because akange atanga kuita monkey grip..akandibatirira. Takasvirana kusvika takanganwa kuti people were watching. Rimwe zimbavha rakanga rangoti ndee kuti tarisa kunge dhongi raona spoon richinakirwa. Ndakapaza nyini! Ndakazoona bhebhi rakugwina gwina, magaro ake abatana kunge chibhakera che ZANU, ndokutanga kutunda. Takatunda tese but ini i pretended kunge ndanga ndisina kutunda because ndakanga ndakutya kusvirirwa bhebhi nema bhinya aye. Ndakanzwa tsitsi zviri over than ndaona mumwe mu salad. Mwana iye akanga ari tsvarakadenga! Akange ane dako raioneka murima. Dako rake raiwanisa basa pasina indavhiyu.
Akanga afongoreswa nerimwe zimbavha rakanga ine mazi muscles. Zi mbavha riye rakamuti, “iwewe, kotama” and ndokuburitsa ino mboro yakaita kunge python. Shato chaiyo! Rakabva rati “kotama mhani iwe!” and akomana ka, mwana akange ane beche rakanaka iye. Kana remombe rinosara pasi. Matinji ake aita kunge mboro yemufana ari grade three. Ini pandaka ona matinji aye, mboro yangu yakabva yamira kuti twii! Aaah iwe, ma one. Zi mhondi rakabva rabata mboro yaro ndokuiti pfee mubeche memu salad uya. Rakatanga kusvira mwana wevaridzi zvisingaite. Mu salad uye akanga achiridza mhere manje. Rimwe zi mbavha ndokuenda in front of the salad,kwakuburi tsa mboro yake kuti inanzvwe. Mwana akazunzwa body yese and mazamu akaita kunge achadonha nekusvirwa. Takazoona zvino makumbo akwidzwa mudenga mwana achibvunda vanhu vese tikaziva kuti mwana arikutunda. Zimbavha riya rakabva raomesa magaro aro kunge e mbwa and then remained still and stiff richitunda. Then this other guy akabva anzi, “vhura muromo”. Achivhura, gun yakabva yapinzwa in his mouth neimwe mbavha zvikanzi, “urikuona uyu dhafu- dhunda, ndoda kuti umusvire” ichinongedzera kune this other zirume zidhafu. Blaz vaye vakaramba vari zii and then politely asked if he could get a condom from his wallet because he didn’t want kuti mboro yake izare madhodhi. Mbavha iya ndokuti, “Unosvira ma hure nyoro everyday, nhasi pano ndopawakuti urikuda condom, sei? KAMANI! Svira nyoro munhu uyo”!
That’s when you see kuti vakafa hapana chavakaoona plus vakazorora. Ma ZRP aye akabva anzi chichinjanai kunanzvana mboro dzenyu. Mbavha dziye ndiye bvuu, kubvaruka nekuseka. Hi-Rider na hwindi had been told earlier on to dig small holes and then zvikanzi “right ana boys, chisvirai tukomba itwotwo”. Boys dzakasvuuka mboro dzichikoira pasi. Later on, takazonzwa vati, “right! Pindai mukombi”. Ini nebhebhi then sat in the front seat tiri naked. Takapinda tese mbavha dziye dzikasara panze. Hi Rider abva anzi “iwe chi driver”. Hi-Rider uya ndiye TEKERE TEKERE ZUUUM achi starter kombi. Mbavha dziya dzakabva dzati, “Yaah, chiendai! Musacheuke! Mhata dze vanhu”! Nobody contemplated going kuno reporter nyaya iyi ku Police Station. We got lost for a bit asi takazongoerekan a tave kudhuze neku Helensvale zvikanzi nemumwe mukadzi “after Harare Drive!”. Akanga achichema chema kuti asvirwa ne munhu waasingazive. Aishaya kuti oti chii kunemurume wake plus she was worried kuti vemuraini vakamuona asina kupfeka vaizofunga kuti muroyi.
Kombi yakamira, hwindi akabuda ne reverse jende first iye wese achiteera. The lady got out and quickly made her way kumba kwakwe. Hi Rider akabva aisimudza Toyota Hiace iya akatarisa mazamu ne beche remuskana wangu. Mboro yake yakabva yamira akabva avhiringa ma gear opiringishwa ne mboro yake. Vanhu vakazopera vachidzika pama stops avo. Vamwe vaiti vakadzika, vaibva varova bara vachimhanya kudzimba dzavo. Speed yembwa five chaiyo! Vamwe vaidzikira padhuze ne stop yavo vodeedzera kuti vaigirwe hembe. Ma one! Ini nebhebhi rangu takakumbira ku dropwa off right at my doorstep.I then gave Hi-Rider nahwindi hembe dzekupfeka. I’m still with my girlfriend and i’m planning to bring her here to UK. Icho!